At first sight

2011-07-05T18:13:00.001+02:00

每次到了夜深人靜的時候我總是睡不著
我懷疑是不是只有我的明天沒有變得更好
未來會怎樣究竟有誰會知道
幸福是否只是一種傳說我永遠都找不到

我是一隻小小小小鳥　
想要飛呀飛卻飛也飛不高
我尋尋覓覓尋尋覓覓一個溫暖的懷抱　
這樣的要求算不算太高

所有知道我的名字的人啊你們好不好
世界是如此的小　我們註定無處可逃
當我嚐盡人情冷暖　當你決定為了你的理想燃燒
生活的壓力與生命的尊嚴那一個重要

2011-07-04T11:35:00.001+02:00

Birthday month.
Exam month.
Second half of the year.
Second chance.
Let me make it right this time.

And Summer's lease hath all too short a date

2011-07-04T11:05:00.013+02:00

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

2010-10-31T13:20:00.000+01:00

ich schaff das!!!

Absence makes the heart grows fonder

2010-09-20T20:32:00.002+02:00

‎"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Another test tomorrow. And i am flying home :)

Breakfast

2010-05-30T10:48:00.005+02:00

Oats, milk, kiwi, banana and blueberries. I couldn't think of a better way to start my Sunday morning. Mr. Weather has turned significantly gentle recently :D Today it's cloudy with seconds long sunny intervals because Mr. Sun is playing hide and seek with the thick dark clouds. It does take some determination to drag myself out of bed in this perfect weather to sleep in.

If you ask me what is the most frequent cause that prompted me to be late for school when i was younger, my answer would be: My dad cooked us oats for breakfast! I used to drag my school bag to the front gate and then stamped my foot aggrievedly while waiting for my sister taking ages to finish her bowl of plain oats with raisins or apple (oats cooked with plain water with neither addition of sugar nor milk). Now i often suspect that this is the key factor of why i developed a distaste for raisins. (dad, if you are reading this, i feel sorry :p)
But i certainly miss those tasteless oats!

Valentine

2010-05-14T11:18:00.000+02:00

A friend shared this on Facebook.

Sweet.

Fragility

2010-05-14T10:50:00.002+02:00

I have been so dependent on the internet that the first thing i do in a weekend morning after brushing my teeth is to turn on my laptop, sign in messengers and check my mailbox. And oh guess what i got in my inbox today: 7 things that one shouldn't do on Facebook, another reminder to stay aware of own privacy in this social networking world.

Studying overseas makes me realised how crucial a roll technology has in my daily life keeping me in touch with my family and friends at home. But today it suddenly struck me so so hard that technology makes love fragile and brittle. One can choose not to pick up certain calls, reply certain emails or messages be it on Facebook, Messengers, or even SMS. And what's even better, you don't have to feel sorry for that: simply reply a text message: hi sweetie i'm so sorry but i'm having this terrible sore throat, or pretend that you are the roomie on Messanger and type away: hi i'm xxx's roomie and he/she is currently not at home.

Check out the preview of next version of Window Live Messenger,which makes it even easier: you can apply different status to different contacts(note: 1:40 of the video) , maybe you are scheduled to date this boyfriend online today and you wouldn't want the other boyfriend to find out that since you are supposed to be attending your weekly yoga class.

So who is friend and who is foe?

我不夠認份
所以怕再為誰作出犧牲
愛要有天份
所以我始終學不會放任
我不夠天真
不允許我傻傻的等
對自己殘忍
多殘忍我要有分寸

我太過認真
所以才相信所謂的永恆
愛讓人恍神
所以止不住不小心沉淪
我太負責任
不允許有太多悔恨
對自己坦誠
多坦誠我自有分寸

我只是無辜的人
很需要歎氣聲
有一些文字的吻
只留給傷過的人
明知道有些問題
沒有答案還是要問
原諒我因為我就是這樣的女生

Blossom

2010-05-13T12:05:00.005+02:00

It's spring.i love spring. How could one don't?

Been having such lovely time with friends i adore.

Favourite activity in spring: bbq in Westpark, Aachen.

Cologne is one of the cities in Germany that i love :D.

Taken by the River Rhein.

Spent a lovely Saturday indulging in yummylicious Ramen and strolling through a park in Düsseldorf.

Oh those lovely tulips and flower beds!

p.s: i stole most of the pictures from Jun Xiang, our genius photographer :)

******

Attempted to bake japanese cheese cake too during the weekend, but friends thought that it could do with stronger cheese flavour.

Relocation

2010-05-13T11:37:00.008+02:00

I moved. It's the 5th time i moved since 2006. This time into an old pre-World War II bungalow.

The brown wallpaper smells of history. And I could almost hear the coloured glass whispering stories of the house and its past inhabitants.

The owner is a lovely generous German old lady in her eighties, who used to work as clinic assistant before she married a handsome gorgeous Pole (i assumed) whose first wife died of breast cancer.

I dislike moving. The amount of dust and dirt we have to clean, the thousands meters that we walked,and the energy spent on every single screws and nuts when dismantling and assembling 3 large wardrobes, 2 beds and several tables and chairs are disaster. The task seemed impossible, but here i am now sitting in my new room typing off my laptop. Of course i couldn't have done it without all my friends.

We did not record much of this unforgettable experience on Labor Day.
Here is a sneak peek of them assembling one of the wardrobes :D

Ich danke euch vom ganzen Herzen für eure liebe Hilfe.

Oh and we have got a garden!

Kau Ilhamku

2010-04-11T23:54:00.006+02:00

Beribu bintang dilangit

Kini menghilang

Meraba aku dalam kelam

Rembulan mengambang

Kini makin suram

Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah

Sedetik wajahmu muncul

Dalam diam

Ada kerdipan ada sinar

Itukah bintang atau rembulan

Terima kasih kuucapkan

Izinkan kumencuri bayangan wajahmu

Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu

Maafkanlah oh...

Andai lagu ini

Mengganggu ruangan hidupmu

Kau senyumlah oh...

Sekadar memori

Kita di arena ini

Kau ilhamku

Kau ilhamku...

Endorphins

2010-04-11T11:16:00.017+02:00

They say chocolate makes people happy :)

perhaps butterflies too :D

Potential New Home!

2010-03-08T20:12:00.000+01:00

4 units in a big mansion :D
The one on ground floor on the left side could be ours*big wet eyes*

Big living room which could be so comfy and cozy if we had the money to furnish it.

One of the three bedrooms

Balcony!!! space for few pots of summer flowers and and and BBQ~~ We always have bbq when the weather is warmer *heartsss*

Kitchen which need lots and lots of $$$$ to be furnished T_T fridge, oven, stove, cabinets....

*keeping fingers crossed all the time so that we could get the contract* need to settle this matter ASAP!!!

Carnation

2010-02-25T22:00:00.000+01:00

Mummy i love you i love you i love you! so soooo much :D

What i got in the mail

2010-02-07T21:36:00.000+01:00

Distance: 10000+ km
Duration: 8 weeks
Weight: 9.73 kg
Content: Love, an awful lot

Sunshine???

2010-01-26T14:26:00.005+01:00

I woke up today and peeped through the window when i saw this :

clear blue sky and warm bright sunshine !!!!!! :D :D :D

Only when i was happily grabbing my relatively thin jacket when i saw this:

sunny :D
8.1 :D
but with a minus in front

Crap.

Sweetie Pie ♥

2010-01-26T12:56:00.013+01:00

" Tee...cher...i want my mummy.." her wet little eyes met mine. My heart ached a little. I wiped away her tiny tears.

" Oh sweety, mummy will be here after school k? She loves you a lot. But mummy needs to work. And Yiyi needs to learn. Look, you have so so many friends here. There are Sheela, Siti, Emily, Weiwei... They don't cry. Now tell teacher, how old is Yiyi?"

She raised her hand and showed me 4 fingers.
"One..two..three..four...Yiyi is 4 years old. Big girl now, big girl don't cry. C'mon, let's go and sit with your friends." I explained to her.

" Teecher, when is school over?" she did not give in.

"At 12pm. Only 3 hours from now. " i pointed at the 12 on my watch.

" How long is 3 hours teecher? " Puzzled, she looked at me.

3 hours is 180 minutes or 10800seconds or 12.5% of a day or when u finished 10 Calculus questions in the exam hall or traveling from Taiping to Kuala Lumpur by car or a movie + romantic dinner evening with your boy friend. =.=
Ok...of course i did not answer that.

"When you finish writing your 'apple' and colour this cute little dinosaur here, and then finish the yummy sandwich in your lunch box, and then sing and play with your friends, then we will sing " thank you teacher, goodbye teacher, goodbye my friends, kay? " i patted her head.

She nodded doubtfully and broke into a little smile :)

Sweetie, teacher misses you ♥

香喷喷pseudo-卤肉饭

2010-01-25T14:03:00.015+01:00

cheng cheng!!!

cooking simply drives away my winter blues and pre-exam depression :D :D :D

this is a pseudo version because the authentic one should have looked like this:

with minced pork instead :)
(Photo taken from Wikipedia)

Ingredients:

pork belly

garlic, shallot, ginger, star anise

a duck laid 6 hard-boiled eggs =.=

too bad i can't get some 'xiu pak choy' and 'lap cheong' aka chinese sausage. Else i can sell this for RM10.90* per bowl :D

*5% government tax and 10% service charge apply.
******************************************

Pardon the poor english and pictures and content.
Really need to ~~continue~~ start studying!!!

成长

2010-01-24T01:56:00.002+01:00

哭过就好了
痛都会走的
记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的
失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩
还是谢谢你让我长大了

越多美好堆叠的过往
想忘就得推倒更大的悲伤
要找勇气却不在口袋或手上
但它一定在我身上某个地方

I need...

2010-01-21T11:43:00.006+01:00

to breakthrough,

I need...

an angel.

Surely...

2010-01-19T10:14:00.001+01:00

this is not what it's like to pursue happiness.

Red Happiness

2010-01-17T16:23:00.011+01:00

What i do in a lazy Sunday afternoon..

Ingredients: red bean, barley, brown rice, red date, wolf berry, honey
Simmer with slow cooker overnight and...

Tada!!!!

Title's credit goes to Sam.(Thanks Sam :D)

扫尘除垢

2010-01-17T13:42:00.005+01:00

扫心里的尘，除心里的垢

Au revoir

2010-01-16T22:35:00.012+01:00

Dear Beebee,

Year 2009 has finally came to an end. And so are things between us. We finally did it. The one thing that only seems right to do. After so many years, after so many arguments, after so many fights, after so many patching ups, after so many kisses, so many hugs, so much tears, so much laughter, so many phone calls, skype calls, sms-s...

Everyday i wake up, i know it's another day, of the many days in the many months that i will need to let go of things, to let go of us, to let go of you and eventually to move on with life...my life without you. Everyday is a brand new day. Everyday new things awaits me to explore them. Everyday new interesting people are coming into my life as well as taking leave with and without my notice. Everyday is full of hope and unexpected suprises and adventures. Stepping into the cold, breathing the fresh chilly winter air, i suddenly realised that the world is still as beautiful as the way it was, even without you. And from that moment onwards, my heart weights a little lighter. May yours too.

Even though memories keep replaying and flashing in my mind now and then and there are unfulfilled dreams and promises between you and me, i know it doesn't hurt me anymore, to think that the special chemistry and bond between us are history now. But we tried our best. We fought for it. We enjoyed when we could. We loved each other so much. There is nothing to be regretted. Sadly, there is always a 'but' in a story. Two straight lines with different gradients will meet at a certain point of time, but if those lines were to be extrapolated eventually, they go separate ways. In fact, the further they become from each other as time goes by. Prince and princess can't always live happily ever after in reality. Yes. It's reality that won the battle :)

Merry Christmas to you and may you have a happy and blessed new year 2010: A new chapter in both our lives.
To love, to life, to hope. Cheers.

Best wishes with all the remaining love i have and had for you,
Your sweetheart

p.s: i’m growing up and learning so much now. i will be the better, stronger woman that you’ve always wanted to see me become. In the near future.

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm not with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
and after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

~i never told you by Colbie Caillat~

Note to self

2010-01-16T21:55:00.005+01:00

need to:

expect less: yes homo sapiens are selfish creatures. And i am human.
appreciate: Human are greedy. I am from planet earth.
be happy: Smile, what's the use of crying? You'll find that life is still worthwhile. If you just smile
eat
sleep early
exercise
learn basic of photography: so that i can share more nice stuff. see~ i'm so good to my readers.
study
study
study

need to stop:

facebooking..and commenting on jun xiang's latest awesome photos taken with his new DSLR.
chit chat chit chat chit chat
browsing and reading new recipes when there are 500 slides of lecture notes left untouched.
pondering over questions about life: life is maze
pondering over questions about love: love is a riddle

Lesson 14: 次谨信

2010-01-13T09:42:00.001+01:00

凡出言信为先诈与妄奚可焉
解说：凡是开口说话，首先要讲究信用，欺诈不实的言语，在社会上可以永远行得通吗?

无心非名为错有心非名为恶过能改归于无倘掩饰增一辜
解说：不是有心故意做错的，称为过错；若是明知故犯的，便是罪恶。不小心犯了过错，能勇于改正就会越改越少，渐归于无过，如果故意掩盖过错，那反而又增加一项掩饰的罪过了。

“最好的礼物是忠言，最好的修养是宽恕”
-佛光菜根谭-

祖先的智慧，愿与大家共勉之。

给一个知己

2010-01-12T16:59:00.001+01:00

I was doing my usual weekend shopping when i found this *beaming*

:D

And i wrote something in it today...
.
.
.
.
.
.

Tada!!!

(i know i know..my Chinese handwriting sucks :p)

我感恩你的忠言

Tragic Supper

2010-01-09T23:11:00.001+01:00

i tripped and nearly fell. But i managed to balance myself. The bowl that contained my almost perfect half-boiled eggs slided off the plate and crashed onto the floor. My fresh-from-oven-buns rolled down the staircase. FML. I stood rooted to the ground for few seconds.

"Pick up the buns. They are edible " my brain commanded coldly. Numb with shock i picked up those precious buns which are my dinner+supper while staring at those eggs in grief. Oh boy, tragic.

"The mess on the floor will have to wait. " my grumpy stomach was protesting. Temperature dropped below 0 outside. Silently i walked towards my room, leaving those eggs lying helpless all over the staircase.

When i started to learn baking...

2010-01-09T01:05:00.001+01:00

Nov 2009: Mr. Lambert's Birthday

Chocolate Rum Cake with Chocolate Ganache

Dec 2009: Christmas

Lemon Curd Mousse

Photos are courtesy of Jun Xiang.

大海

2010-01-07T19:53:00.000+01:00

Nightmare

2010-01-07T10:23:00.000+01:00

My fingers typed furiously on the black keyboard. I clicked on the 'comment' button.
'Bist du sicher, dass du deine Verbindung mit ihm entfernen möchtest?" I moved the cursor over 'Ja'. But little did i know that after few weeks..

I felt so helpless and alone. My alarm continued to beep. But my brain refused to let go of that connection. I continued to fall and fall, into the endless unknown black hole of dreamland.

Gasping for air, i woke up. An hour later than i intended to. I lied breathlessly under my thick blanket, curling into a ball, sleepy beside me, hoping that all anguish will vanish into thin air like water vapour. " Just leave me alone now that your selfish wish came true, " i whispered weakly.
(sleepy is a bear, my sleeping mate, who is assigned a duty similar to a lullaby. Hence, the name sleepy. Yes, i am that creative.)

I splashed cold water on my face. Away you go, nasty Mr. Gloomy! It's the third time since Christmas. Please let this be the last. Now that my mind is cleared and i tried hard to recall what happened in that dream, i could think of nothing. Perhaps it is better this way. Ignorance is bliss.

But i realised one thing, no matter how many 'delete' i clicked, no matter how encounter in future is avoided, no matter how much i wanted and have erased history and memory, through a way we are still connected and there isn't any 'delete' or 'disable' button. None. Nichts. Tiada. 无。

I hate nightmares.

White Winter is Love

2010-01-04T11:14:00.002+01:00

Tiny snow flakes are playing hide and seek in the misty cold air outside my window when i am writing this. Now and then they stop dancing gracefully and start to swirl with enthusiasm and excitement along with Mr. Wind. Often, i try to find the rhythm of the nature and let my heart beats synchronize with it. In that way i find bliss.

View from my balcony.

Welcome to Kampung Burgsteinfurt :D

My sole connection to the outside world *pathetic*

Spotted: Old man with his giant husky out for a lazy afternoon 'chill' :D :D :D *Hearts*

*couldn't take any better photo with my K770i phone camera*

Footprints on snow :D :D :D

Letting your shoes sink into the 10cm thick fluffy snow and leaving foot prints behind is *heartsss*

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favourite things

When the dog barks

When the bee stings

When i'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favourite things

And then i don't feel so bad.

Yes, white winter is one of my favourite things. And when i'm feeling bad, i simply have to remember them all :D

Simply ♥ white winter.

World Greatest Dad

2010-01-03T22:32:00.000+01:00

I watched the movie 'World Greatest Dad' recently. It reminds me of my dad. (Daddy, i miss you)

Tonight, i was browsing through a recipe book when a piece of paper slipped onto the floor. Written neatly on it are simple loving words and reminders of a father.

Every sentence, albeit short, touches my heart.

I read the note again and again. Being away from home, facing the many distractions and new adventures in this big big world, i almost forgot those words. Yes, my duty as a daughter slipped my mind. Yes, i almost forgot how his hair thins and grays as time passes by. And then i lost count of those wrinkles around his eyes every time he frowned when we misbehaved.

A humble, strict but loving father he is.
And I am proud to be his daughter.
I hope one day, i would make him proud too.
Simply because what they taught me: "亲爱我孝何难"

Happy birthday, dad.

Creamy Cheesy Indulgence

2009-12-19T21:05:00.000+01:00

It has been almost one month that i have not cook myself a proper meal.
Perhaps it's the extremely freezing weather out there, or has the thickening dust on my cooking utensils irritated me, or maybe i have really let go of things that i have stubbornly hold on to for the past few years, or it's simply because my favourite Indo Mee and Sin Ramen are out of stock LOL. And the nearest asian supermarket is 15Min walking+40Min train ride + another 15Min walking away.
So tonight, i opened my fridge and cooked myself some decent food with ingredients that i can find.

I will let the pictures do the explaining here. Here we go:

1. Cook pasta till al dente, approximately 8-11Min.
Definition of al dente: when you think the pasta is cooked, take one piece of them and throw them towards the wall in front of you. If it sticks on the wall, ta da~~ your pasta is al dente LOL. I have never tried that though :p Remember to wipe the wall/tiles clean after you have done that if you are cooking at home or else your mother will be at her top voice again >"<

2. Stir-fry some chopped onion and garlic with olive oil till they turn soft.

3. add in about 1/3 stick of butter and let it melt completely.

4. Now whisk in about 1.5 tablespoon of flour. Let it simmer slightly while whisking. Now you should get a thicker texture aka rue.

5. Now pour in your favourite white wine according to your liking. It should
be white wine because we are making white sauce so everything you add in is supposed to belong to the white family tree. White onion, white garlic, white wine, white flour, white butter, white mushroom :D
Remember to remove ur saucepan from heat if it's getting too hot. Don't overcook.

6. Now stir in some whipping cream.

7. Last but not least is the seasoning part. Add some freshly-grounded black pepper and salt and parsley and cheese according to your taste and bring to boil.

And
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Presenting you the ultimately creamy cheesy spinach fettuccine with white sauce :D :D :D

Bon appetit :D

天长地久

2009-01-22T10:53:00.000+01:00

依稀记得某小说里的一个问题:

最短的天长地久是多久呢?

恋爱

2008-06-24T01:09:00.002+02:00

MOSER-ROTH
Privat Chocolatiers
Edel bitter

我, 恋爱了.爱上了苦涩的巧克力,
就好象思念, 其实并不甜...

选择

2008-06-23T22:32:00.001+02:00

天真无邪的童年
"mamee 还是 choki-choki?"

鸦雀无声的教室, 咬着笔端绞尽脑汁
"A) I, II, III
B) I, II, IV
C) I, III, IV 还是
D) I, II, III & IV "

与他的第一次约会
"穿白色蕾边长裙, 还是简单利落的牛仔裤?"

站在 Secret Recipe落地玻璃窗前
"chocolate indulgence 还是 blueberry cheesecake?"

快要迟到的早上
"U bahn 还是S bahn?"

欧洲杯半决赛要赌一把
"德国还是土耳其?"

今天的晚餐
"蛋炒饭还是pasta?"

从小到大, 每天我们都需要面对选择: 琐碎的 , 关键性的, 决定性的 ...
在做选择时的烦恼, 焦虑, 压力, 控制得好, 是下一个决定的垫脚石; 掌控错了,则成了人生中的绊脚石.
曾经过那么多考验,可最后的我选择了回到原点...
虽然不可能象小叮当的还原布那样厉害, 100%地恢复原貌.

p.s:得空没事做想写布落格
''wretch还是blogspot?"
welcome aboard =)